04.16
Why are Enneagram Type Ones so self-righteous? We are all caught up in a narrative, a story about who we are and what we are encountering in the world. These stories are archetypal, deeply buried in our consciousness as a race, and we can access them through analogies and pictures.
What story is the Type One playing out that makes them so sure they have the higher moral ground? Why do they think they know the ethical truth while the rest of us flail around in uncertainty?
The Webinar “The Nine Types Revealed” explores the hidden motivations, Emotional Passions, psychological Defense Mechanisms, the specific way each Enneagram type disconnects from their
Divine Essence nature, and how they can get back into connection with it. The Webinar will include
live coaching with participants each month.
Click here to register for the Webinar, “The Nine Types Revealed”
We will meet once a month, on the web, to explore a different type. Meetings are on Tuesday
evenings from 6 PM-8 PM Pacific time. The first meeting will be on April 27th. All Enneagram
webinars will be recorded and posted so you can see anything you miss.
Please leave questions below!
May 14th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Hi Ben!
As a Type One, I really identify with these drawings. Thank you so much for posting this video.
I had a question: I first encountered the Enneagram by reading a book by Don Riso. I found that I am a One with a Nine-Wing. My girlfriend is a Four with a Three wing. I like her, but her narcissm really triggers my judgment. Is there any way to help me out?
May 15th, 2010 at 9:43 am
Hi Ben!
As a Type One I was very glad to see this video. There was so much I identified with. Thank you very much.
I pray for all Type Ones. The pain is great but the joy is just as beautiful.
May 15th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Hi Matt,
Ben here.
Thanks for your question.
It’s typically not the narcissism that causes the problems. It’s the story of what that means about the person that causes rifts in relationships. What are your judgments about her because she’s narcissistic?
May 16th, 2010 at 11:39 am
Well I showed her the Enneagram and she agreed she is definitely a Four/Three.
I told her that she might want to consider a religious conversion since Riso suggests that religious conversions are good for Threes. It forces them to submit to something.But I kind of regret it!
She has become incredibly religious and even joined a prayer group that is very exclusive and a little “holier than thou.” She is now considering becoming a nun. But what really bothers me is that I think she considers herself “holier” than me and my friends! My Oneish judgement goes haywire when she brings that up! She’s acting out “the Aristocrat” in her.
I can take her moodiness, and even her depression but her narcissistic elitism drives me up wall! Is there anything I can do?
May 17th, 2010 at 11:43 am
Hi Jeff,
OK, I want to set up some framework around Enneagram types and judgment.
Basically when we have something that we judge in others in a patterned way it’s typically a reflection of something inside of us. We wouldn’t be able to see it so clearly in others if it was not inside of us.
And if we have a strong charge around it, then it’s probably a disowned part of ourselves. Some part that we’ve judged as wrong or bad and we don’t want to admit it’s inside us.
Just assume that it is.
First I want you to write as the part of you that is “holier” or more developed than everyone else. Write about how it is being this part of you and what you think about all the other lowly people.
Then I want you to write as yourself speaking to that “holier” part of you and tell it about how it’s impacted your life.
Then come back here and tell me what happened and we’ll go from there.
Ben
May 25th, 2010 at 9:55 am
Ben,
Thank you for your advice.
I was not able to do your exercise in exactly that way, but I did start reading some other materials that were very helpful.
I know you talk in your program of the “disowned voices”; of how we can embody all nine types. I’ve always had a problem with the Type Three. I never knew what it was like to think only of myself and never anyone else.
This part of my girlfriend was something I simply couldn’t identify with. I realize now that the Three was the one voice that I never actually recognized because I was ashamed of many aspects of myself. With a constant inner critic in my head, I never was able to love who I truly was.
This exercise and being with my girlfriend has helped me understand this crucial aspect of myself. Thank you, Ben.
If there is anything else you’d like me to think on please feel free to comment.
Jeff
May 26th, 2010 at 4:43 am
Hi Jeff,
I’m actually interested in how things are currently with your girlfriend? Are you still triggered by her narcissism? Are the judgments still present?
Ben
June 13th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Hey Ben,
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last replied.
So much has happened in my life, that’s it been crazy.
Anyway, I’ve learned to accept the narrcisist inside me. Meaning, I had problems with the 3 because I didn’t really love myself.
I’m trying to accept my girlfriend as she is. That’s been tough at times, but I’m working on it, and am confident that I can make it through.
As a One, I know I have idealizations. I’ve also discovered I’ve idealized her in the past. Waking up to recognizing her in a more real was has been scary, but I know it’s part of the process.
I guess that’s the biggest thing going on right now between the two of us.
November 3rd, 2010 at 11:01 am
I WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE TWO OF YOUR PROGRAMS,BUT BEFORE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MY TYPE.I’VE TRIED CALLING THE NUMBER ON YOUR SITE 866-837-1299,BUT IT HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED.PLEASE ADVISE. THANK-YOU,LEN
November 3rd, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Hi Len,
The best way to determine your type is with an Enneagram Typeing interview. You’ll talk to one of our coaches and they will help you explore your inner world so you will catch onto the beliefs and emotional triggers that have been running things in an unconscious way. It’s a journey of self-discovery.
You can call me directly at 831-477-0299 to set something up.
Ben